Dancing with the Universe
Musings on dancing with the universe to create your dream life and three practical tips on how to do this.
As the Spring season slowly starts to open with an exquisite overture, so are the beginnings of my own next chapter.
It is at times like these that I am reminded, how beautiful it is to be dancing to the rhythm of nature and the Universe. How each cycle has it’s charged endings and soft beginnings - which, if honoured, can ultimately supercharge our movements forward. Closer, and closer to the whispered vision we hold for ourselves.
This winter was maybe one of the first in a really long time, that I consciously decided to follow nature’s rhythm and retreat inwards, instead of fighting it and drumming to a different beat. It was time to get really uncomfortable, and in turn comfortable, with my shadows.
At first, it was overwhelming - an experience I can only compare to the opening of Pandora’s box. My insecurities, fears, shortcomings and denied aspects all flooding in and breaking open the gates, never to be repaired again.
It took everything in me to approach what was coming up with compassion and kindness, knowing that each of these were just a product of nearly 30 years of conditioning and my my minds way to keep me safe, the best way it knew how.
Slowly, I started chipping away at them one by one and while I’m pretty sure this is will be lifelong work, things have already started shifting.
At the cusp of autumn last year, I had a moment of clear understanding that if I woke up in exactly a year, and my life remained virtually the same, I would be swallowed by darkness. Not because there was something wrong with it - in fact, I have a lot to be grateful for - but because I felt like I was stuck in an ever repeating loop of routines that weren’t making me feel fulfilled or enamoured with life. The days just went by and I had absolutely no feeling of accomplishment, let alone excitement for the next. That, in my opinion, is no way to live your whole life.
At first, I tried changing simple thing - a new sport or cooking a new meal, in the hopes they would somehow shake loose something deeper in me. No amount of reformer pilates, curries or sourdough making truly fixed the problem (are we surprised?), but they did give me a short-term sense of pleasure and excitement. This is not to be discounted when you’re feeling stuck, because you want to welcome in any light when you’re deep down in a pit. However, the feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction kept creeping back in, during those quite in between moments. A voice whispering that I had just found healthier ways to avoid dealing with the root cause.
For anyone feeling in a rut, I hope to pass on this little crumb of wisdom: you hold the keys to our very own prison. There will likely not be a moment that catapults you into your dream life when you are feeling low self-worth and not in alignment or flow. I wasted so much time waiting and waiting for some sort of divine inspiration to hit me, the kind that would catalyse and completely transform my life.
This is not, in my experience, what works. Inspiration follows action.
So, you might be wondering, how does one actually go about this and start implementing changes? Where do I start? Let’s dive into it:
Spend time with yourself in solitude and stillness - there is no way to bypass this. You have to know yourself deeply and be unafraid to get to know your inner voices. I also want to make very clear, that being in solitude here does not mean simply spending time alone, but it is how you spend it that will make all the difference. Watching tv, going for a walk with a podcast or seeking out similar distractions while you are alone, will tune out the self - the part we need to get friendly with. These activities are good for other things, but you’re distracting from your inner world by plugging into other stories. It’s your story you want to know deeply. This can involve journaling, a meditation practice, planning a solo trip (scary, I know!), taking a bath with some candles and just ponder over what comes up. If you’re not naturally prone to doing this I know it can be so hard, but even more so, it is necessary. Remember, the secret is always in the places you’re afraid to look. Here are three journal prompts to help you get familiar with some of your shadowy aspects. Please write freely, without thinking of format or performance - this is an exercise purely meant to uncover some truth buried deep in your soul and are for no one to read.
what aspects of yourself do you fear make you unlovable or undesirable?
when have you felt shame and embarrassment around something you said or did that has made you self-conscious? What usually triggers this?
do you judge people or feel envy / jealousy for certain people? Try to understand why and how these aspects are related to your life
Identify your core wound - Once you have spent some time in solitude and journaled on some frustrations or emotions that have arisen, try to figure our what wound they connect to. We have all been through various conditionings through our families, education, society and carry a lot of shame around certain aspects of our being because of this (in spiritual teachings, this is called your ‘shadow’). Try to identify these aspects and what root cause they connect to.
I want to share an example from my recent life to help explain this better, which will carry through to the next points. I recently had a lot of emotions come up when it came to work and feeling like a failure for not having a six figure salary. When I sat with this and journaled on this, I realised that it all came back to a feeling I’ve carried with me since childhood, which is to not be ‘good enough’.
So much of my 20s is defined by this feeling as the universe reflected it back to me to teach me the opposite lesson. I asked for very little money and got treated with very little respect and less value. It wasn’t because I was less good, but because I valued myself less. For years I was also stuck in unhealthy loops with clients, in which I tried to prove myself worthy through my work, but didn’t align my actions in asking for more money because subconsciously I didn’t believe I deserved. So, neither did they.Move through fear - Once I realised this, there was no turning back. I had to rewire my brain to value myself or I would never live out my dream life. This took time for me (and is ongoing), because my feeling of not being ‘good enough’ has made itself at home in my subconscious and it’s a difficult tenant to kick out! Yet, when I was able to give the parts of myself that felt this way a lot of love and start healing my inner child from certain experiences, my outer world started to shift too. A funny thing happens then, slowly at first and suddenly all at once, you start to really recognise the many ways in which you accepted things that didn’t serve you or your purpose. When that sets in, you can recognise what you need to let go of or where you need to redefine boundaries. For me, this process was accompanied by a lot of fear, because I had only known keeping my self safe and small. What would lie beyond? It is only by stepping through this fear and facing the very things that scared me that I could up-level. Again, the secret is always in the places you’re afraid to look. The last month has been pivotal for me work-wise because of this very reason. I had to face what felt scary and let go of what was keeping me smaller than I wanted to be, even though it meant potentially earning less for a little while. The energetics of this are pure magic, because suddenly doors open you didn’t know where possible and the opportunities that were orbiting you, but could never quite get to you until you learned that lesson, suddenly rush in.
And so, the dance with the universe begins - and you’re the one leading.
One step through fear and the universe whirls you into a new opportunity (and the next test) with child-like joy, to celebrate you getting closer to your self and your dreams.
Consider fear necessary nourishment, sustenance to see what lessons you still need to lear in order to move closer to your dreams, and reclaim what has always been yours.
The world is a wild flower field of endless possibilities, and we’re here to dance through it all with joy.
